I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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