I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize