so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
