i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
