You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
