he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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