I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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