shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
