I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
