I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize