How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
