every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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