Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
