So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
