summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
