Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
