I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize