my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
