Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
