we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
