I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
