I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
