this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ttyl tear gas
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
