I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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