I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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