About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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