i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
