I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Still dying that you shit outside
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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