Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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