She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
