a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
