I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize