I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
