Do vagina's smell?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
