i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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