There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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