fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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