Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
