I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
