If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am available for nakedness
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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