addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize