I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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