We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
