well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
