No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
