WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Found the puke drawer
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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