Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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