road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
