we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
