Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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