thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
