I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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