I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
