Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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