did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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