'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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