physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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