I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's the barista slut.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
