I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
