He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
