At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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