I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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