there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He shit in the fireplace
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
