I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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