Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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